The Booger

This past Spring, I had gotten tired of dealing with this Lincoln I took on a trade. Spent over $1000 on it, it didn’t even make a dent on what needed fixed.

I started asking around for an older truck, preferably the 60’s Fords. I had a 66 F-100 back in the early 90s that I traded for a Honda Goldwing. Yeah, go ahead, chastise me I deserve it. While I thought the trade was fair, really missed that truck something terrible. Had a 3 on a tree with an in-line 6. Could go from 0 to 60 in a week and a half but man could it pull. I pulled a Chevy Silverado AND a Dodge Ram out of a mudhole with her. But that’s another story.

Now, I had been getting antsy about getting another old pick up. If you don’t know why, you probably never will. See, most older trucks are VERY easy to work on, less moving parts and you dont have to rely on a dumb computer with idiot lights to tell you it sprayed foofoo juice because some knucklehead left a cheeseburger in the glovebox 2 weeks ago. (Again thats another story)

Anyhow, got a phone call from my bud says hes got 2 pickups coming to his house on a trade was I still interested. I said yup be over the next morning.

09:00 I show up, the most beautiful beat up F-100 I ever laid eyes on. Green as a fresh picked booger from the Ford factory nose. 1972, little V6, 3 on a tree and ol’ girl is screaming at me to take her home. I did the walk around, looked underneath and decided I need her. The chrome still glitters, shes got some battle scars but for a 46 year old truck, she is fine. She had a ticking, sounded like bad lifter, needed a new belt, new tires, new hoses, etc but she’s a beauty. They sure don’t make trucks like that anymore. Sleek rounded lines on the front mmmm. Like a woman, you treat em right, she will be around forever.

I’m giddy on striking a deal. My bud says he will take the Lincoln in trade with cash. Was so happy, was like meeting one of your favorite relatives you havent seen in 20 years…a reunion.

I jump in her, fire her up and drive home. Next morning, go to drive in to town to get my plates transferred. Only a 3 mile drive, what could go wrong? Right? Lol! Blowout, took off a good portion of the tire and when I rolled into the parking lot, I just realized that I had no jack, no spare and no one was answering their phones. Last resort, called one of my other friends to see if he can get me a ride at least to get another tire. I look around, I’m in front of a restaurant I had eaten at once before a long time ago. Had no idea they did breakfast. I go in and eat. After I was done, went back out to the parking lot and sat in my truck. Lol cops got nosey. 3 different cops stopped to see what was going on. Got to talking with one of the younger fellas, all were in awe of my girl. Yeah, she’s a beauty, even though shes booger green.

Well, my bud shows up, they had to drive almost 60 miles round trip to a tire place. What can I say, I live way up in the mountains lol. He gets back, I put the tire on, we head into town. Daggone dmv was closed, just my luck.

I was starting to get irritated. I went and had my insurance changed over, had to take my bud back to his truck, it broke down as well lol (Jeeps, what can I say?)

As we arrive, my truck starts spitting and sputtering, daggone thing overheats. Oh great, needs a new thermostat. Water is boiling over. Decided to fix my bud’s Jeep so he could get home. I wait an hour, decide to hit the part store on my way home and do some repairs in the parking lot while there like new taillight bulbs, reverse bulbs, etc. Picked up a bunch of parts, oil, filters etc because im gonna have my girl performing like an Olympic athlete when im done…or so I thought.

I jump in ol girl, fire her up and head home. Traffic was heavy until I got out of the city, the smell of antifreeze wafting into the cab. Ol girl is hot again, gotta get that thermostat in asap. I get half way home, lose all power. I pop the hood, alternator stopped working. Its dead, battery is shot and the fan belt that was on there was on a strand of wire lol. Crap. Called around again, my bud’s Jeep broke down on him again as soon as he pulled into his driveway. CV axle this time. My last friend, I call said I needed help. Bring tools, bring a battery and bring some water, lots of it. Im sitting off the side of the road, a big truck almost hit me, ended up wrenching the heck out of my back trying to get out of the way. He ended up clipping and breaking my mirror. Had I not jumped out of the way, I would have been his new hood ornament. Im laying on the ground, my back hurts unbelievably bad. Laid there for over 20 minutes, not one person stopped. Looks like my girl needs to help me back up. I grab her bumper, pull myself up best as I can. Between arthritis and now my newfound back pain, I’m in bad shape. Another 35 minutes go by, my bud finally shows up. Breaks out his tools, goes to work. No hi, hello, nothing. After hes done, sees I’m in pain. Asks if I’m ok. Explain about the big truck almost killing me and breaking my mirror. We talk for a few, fill my radiator back up and off I go. Roll into my driveway, she starts a spitting and sputtering again. The Booger.